what happened).

And with the magic of photoediting:

Today She wrote (edited to fit my blog):

I confess that I don’t feel like I’m working to my potential. And it makes me feel sick. I know the signs. It starts with me not being able to cope with my to-do list. It all looks too overwhelming. So I scale things back: I take out everything that has to do with …

The next stage of not living up to my potential is that I can’t read anything. I tried to read the New York Times magazine cover story about fixing a marriage. I can’t open it, though. The woman who is the author wrote about her own experience. F*^&. I should have posted about that.

Elizabeth Weil, from the New York Times magazine, will get a book deal from her piece. I will get a lot of comments from my paragraph. The comments will be: You should write more about that.

It’s true. I should. I should have a book deal, right? Don’t tell me that, okay? Because first of all I make way more from this blog than I would from a book, and I hated writing my last book. But I worry that maybe I should have another book because I won’t feel like I’m a real writer until I have a book New York Times book reviewers fawn over.

Should is a dangerous word. Someone once told me there is no word for should in Spanish. Is this right? Surely, though, there is a Spanish way to say I feel like crap because I’m not living up to my potential. After all, Spanish is the language of Catholic guilt. Should is the American way of putting ourselves down in the name of the need to impress other people.

I should be starting another company. Here’s why: I can’t stop thinking of companies.
I have a community that is always receptive to my ventures, and I have tons of connections into mainstream media where I could market whatever I come up with.
Instead of all of that, I am homeschooling.

Oh. Please. Please God of Editorial Decisions stop me right now from writing about how sick I am of my kids. Let me write something poetic about the joys of parenting.

As a whole, the job is enthralling and rewarding and full of joy. But day to day I could cry. Day to day I think, “All my interesting friends are sending interesting emails today and having interesting meetings.”

My kids have such fun days. They are my dream days. Private lessons in everything they are interested in. Reading for hours each day. Wake up with mooing cows, go to bed with star-filled skies.

If I really hated this life, I’d be changing it.

But all I want to do is write. I don’t feel like I should write, I feel like I have to write or I will die.

So the stuff I think I should do. I’m not doing it because I don’t need to, I guess. I guess I’m blogging because I need to.

So this is what I’m telling you: There is no should. There is no living up to your potential. There is just doing your life. You can’t do someone else’s life.

If we know our goal, and we know our life, and we are working toward it, then we never talk about our shoulds.

So maybe I can just focus on a single goal. And maybe all I need to do is write this.

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I would be truly surprised if this post does not ring true with many of us. Sure we don’t all want to be writers, but if you changed the wording, put some of your idols, some of your passions in there, could this actually be you speaking?

Maybe you think you SHOULD be a better photographer?

How about a better manager? I can assure you there are a lot of SHOULDS out there that relate to managing people, engagement, etc.

How did our lives become work? Last night I was reading DRIVE by Dan Pink. And he described this situation as a Sawyerism… (from the book about Tom Sawyer).. Remember when Tom had to paint the fence? That “work” did not appeal to him, he didn’t want to do it… Suddenly he was inspired, when his friend came down the street… “What ya Doing?” asked his friend. “Painting the fence, I enjoy it but you wouldn’t like it”… By the end of the conversation, Tom had his friend painting the fence and giving him an apple for the “privilege” of doing it. By the end of the afternoon the entire neighbourhood of kids had painted the stretch of fence three times over. Funny…

When you read books about motivation, the author always looks at this story as a demonstration of intrinsic drive. How if you make something “look” fun or inviting, people will be willing to challenge themselves to do it. But if you add a monetary value to it, or a reward.. People start looking at the activity as work. Artists who are paid, create work that is less inspiring. Advertising teams, create less effective advertising and marketing schemes when the outcome is more reward based…

How come no one notices the sweet simple truth that….

Tom missed out! Yes, he had his grin on and walked away knowing he didn’t have to do a stitch of “work”, but was it really work?? Or was it really fun?? Afterall, 12 kids did the job no complaints, heck some even paid him for the privilege.

What are we missing out on because we think everything in our life is a “SHOULD”?
Why can we not look at what we have with pure joy?

In actuality, I have what many people would view as a multitude of “jobs” in my life:

* Wife
* Mother
* HACCP Specialist
* Western Area Synapse Co-Chair
* BC Regional Synapse Chair
* Creative Team Member for Digital Scrapbooking Site
* Advertising Manager for a Digital Scrapbook Designer
* Sister, Daughter
* Christian/Anglican/Catholic

The list grows daily. But when I sit back and think it through most of those things are not really jobs.

Yet sadly, like Penelope, there are days when I can honestly say “As a whole, my life is enthralling and rewarding and full of joy. But day to day I could cry. Day to day I think, “All my interesting friends are sending interesting emails today and having interesting lives.”

Why can I not be content with what I have? I know I have friends and relatives that look at my life and wish theirs could be as interesting… I have people sending me messages saying they wished they would take their kids on as many outings, or scrapbooked as wonderfully as I do, or baked yummy food, or loved their job as much as I profess to, or be as outgoing as I pretend to be, or as organized as I manage to fool people into thinking I am… So why do I need to feel the need to motivate myself to strive for more?

Maybe Penelope is right:

If I really hated this life, I’d be changing it.

Maybe I need to change my thoughts and realize that: There is no should. There is no living up to your potential. There is just doing your life. You can’t do someone else’s life.

Clare Booth Loose says “A great man is a sentence”. Ask yourself what is your sentence. (Look up the You Tube Video: Drive, Daniel Pink – 9781594488849).
Having that one sentence focus statement may help to convince you that your life is not all work. That what you are doing right now is good enough. Maybe, if we know our goal, and we know our life, and we are working toward it, then maybe we may not feel the need to continually talk about our SHOULDs. All a SHOULD can do is discourage us from reaching our true potential, and convert those items we truly love into work.

And in the end who wants to miss out on all the fun, like Tom did?

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I bet you thought I would start right away with me and my leadership journey.  Originally, I was going to do that, but I have learned some new things about life and myself that I think will help you on your career path.   So here are three special stories, to help trigger conversation and thought.

Which one do you fit into?

More importantly, which one do you want to fit to?

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Have you ever heard the story about the Monkeys??  This story was passed on to me from a direct supervisor at one point during my career in the public service.  The source has been lost throughout the years, but the message still rings loud and clear.

 Start with a cage containing five (5) monkeys.  Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it.  Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.  As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.  After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result – all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water.  Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

 Now, put away the cold water.  Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.  The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs.  To his surprise and horror, all the other monkeys attack him.  After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

 Next remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one.  The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.  The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!  Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the last original monkey.  Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.  Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

 After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water.  Nevertheless, no monkey every again approaches the stairs to try for a banana.

 Why not??  Because as far as they know that’s the way it’s always been done around here…

 Is this how you view your job?  Is this how you want to go through your career?  What if there was another attitude you could mimic??

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 One of my favourite blogs to follow is Gail VazOxlade (gailvazoxlade.com).  She is a wonderful woman who teaches people how to appropriately manage their finances and get out of debt.  She currently has 3 TV shows (Till Debt Do Us Part, Till Debt Do Us Part: Home Edition, and Princess).  And her blog is both insightful and encouraging.  Recently, she did a blog post that brought my thoughts back to the story of the monkeys.  In this post she discussed the story of a VERY famous turtle.  The following is directly from her blog:

 So many people think they are powerless.  Life just happens to them and they are pushed along in the current of a river that’s too strong to escape…. They are peons in someone else’s major drama.

 Too bad.  And NOT TRUE.

 We each have the ability to create a life that works for us.  When we feel helpless and incapable of changing our circumstances, we’re letting YERTLE have the last say.

 Yertle the Turtle likes his pond and he rules it well, at first.  But power corrupts and Yertle’s desire to rise higher and higher makes him build up his throne… on the backs of his fellow turtles.

 People see this as a story about tyranny and social justice.  I like to look at it as the store about how one guy – the turtle on the bottom, a fellow named MACK – decides to take control and change his life.  Tired of being squashed in the mud by Yertle’s obsessions, the little Atlas shrugs.  Actually, Mack BURPS.

 …

 Like the turtle on the bottom of the stack, you have the option of staying in the game and just being a stepping stone to someone else’s dream-come-true, or shaking off the yoke of complacency and creating a new reality for yourself.

 ….

 Not everyone is cut out to be a king.  Not everyone wants to be a king. But not being a king doesn’t mean you have to be someone else’s pawn.  You can be king of your own world, master of your own future….

 If you want to have a different life, you must do something different.  Go ahead, BURP!!!

The last piece of the puzzle is the bumblebee.  Ok, originally, this post had nothing in it about bumblebees, but funny thing is my kids have a huge impact on me and this is their small contribution.

At the beginning of the movie THE BEE is the following quote:

 According to all known laws of aviation, there’s no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to lift its fat little body off the ground.

 The bee, of course, flies anyway – because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.

So a week has passed.  And my growth has been limited.  I finally got my hands on THE LEADERSHIP CHALLENGE by Kouzes Posner (http://ca.leadershipchallenge.com/WileyCDA/Section/index.html).  I haven’t been able to read more than the first chapter or two.  But while waiting for this book to be received, I also grabbed the book WHAT GOT YOU HERE WON’T GET YOU THERE by Marshall Goldsmith (http://www.marshallgoldsmithlibrary.com/) and of course managed to read a chapter or two from this book.  The results of my reading have led me to re-examine my Initial Goal Statement.  If you recall I wrote:

I am interested in learning more about leadership, not because I want to be in a management position one day, but because I want to be a person that helps lead others to attaining their goals.  I believe my primary motivation is to be of service to others.

This goal statement is interesting because most of the leadership books I have been able to find are written on the premise that you (the reader) want to succeed, advance, manage people, earn lots of money and be big in the world.  I think my vision of being big in the world would more closely resemble MOTHER THERESA than DONALD TRUMP, but I know I will still gain some insight from reading the materials.  Therefore, I plan on continuing on in this process because I know even if I am never Regional Director the advice given and information gained from these materials will make me a better person. So as a result, I have edited my Goal Statement Slightly.

My goals for this leadership development program is to improve myself, not because I want to be in a management position one day, but because I want to be a person that helps lead others to attaining their goals.  I believe my primary motivation is to be of service to others. With this in mind, I need to learn to LISTEN more effectively, ACCEPT FEEDBACK and grow from it, LEARN TO MORE APPROPRIATELY COMMUNICATE by analyzing the impact of my actions and words on others, and SET AN EXAMPLE.

More than likely this Goal Statement will shift slightly as I continue on with this process, but I think this one more clearly defines where I am headed from here.  During this past week I have also been able to identify that I currently can relate more closely to MACK the Turtle than a monkey.  I would rather make a BURP that causes great change for many, than go along with the crowd, blindly without understanding the reasoning behind the culture.  I know I am not quite yet ready to be a bumblebee, and fly in the face of what the culture of the public service has told me to be truth.  I am not ready to walk away from concerning myself with what others think about me, but my steps in this journey have definitely taken me off the beaten path.

For the next week I will continue reading the two leadership books that I have and jot down my notes and thoughts.  I look forward to see where you have headed over the past week, and your goal statements and direction you have set for yourself for the week ahead.

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A self-study leadership development program for aspiring leaders

Designed by Dan McCarthy, author of Great Leadership

JUST LISTEN by Mark Goulston

This book will change your life!  It will change how you view your role in the communication process, and most importantly how you interact with those around you.

Over the next few hours or days I will post the remainder of my leadership journey blog posts from my work blog.. Join in comment, and lets see where we go from here.  And remember:

EVERYONE has a leadership job.  Where will you take yours?

I have a VERY picky 8 year old who only eats sweets and I thought this would be the perfect treat for him!!  So I went and made a batch today!!

I started with a basic cookie dough recipe.  This is a different recipe from what we usually use, but it appears to get rave reviews on the blogosphere, so I thought I would give it a try.  I doubled the recipe, since my hubby needs cookies each week.

This made a “few” batches of cookies… (Actually 2 Large Ziploc Bags Full)

Piles and Piles of Cookies

While I was baking these away I started at making the Cinnamon Buns.

This means we were ready to add cookie dough

Then we rolled it up and let it rise!!  I pray it turns out.

The end result looked so yummy!!

And they got my ultimate taste testers Seal of approval!

Give them a try you just may be pleasantly surprised!!

The first item I did was sort through all the boys books.  In the end I took 3 banker’s boxes of books to charity.  Of course by the time I thought about it I did not have any pictures taken, so you will just have to trust me on this one!

SO here are my before pictures of my clutterous mess in my living room!

As you can see I had my work cut out for me.. So I attacked the piles with a vengence. If we didn’t own the item, or the date on the paperwork was older than 2010, out it went.  In the end I took 2 banker boxes worth of shredding to the recycling plant yesterday costing us $12.  We also put out 2 blue bags worth of regular recycling.  I think I achieved my goals, and am quite proud of the results.

Once again, I hope the people with less will once again like my donation of more!!

Good- bye Thanks for visiting!!  We hope to see you again soon!

Well I did and here are the small results.

This is my closet before, as you can see I don’t have much left.  And my closet after is not much different except I did find some extra items in my drawers that belonged hung up!

Next came my dresser:

These drawers are not too full, but I did sort them out and made them cleaner.

In the end I ended up with a nice donate pile, and a slightly cleaner wardrobe.

I hope the people with less will like my donation of more!!

Good- bye Thanks for visiting!!  We hope to see you again soon!

The first Hot Spot is….   My WARDROBE

I was kinda bummed out when I saw this.  As I have been on a cleaning binge lately, since i have a little more energy.. It may cost me in the amount of pain I am feeling, but at least I am getting things done while I can.  Anyhoo, I went through and sorted out my dresser and my boys dressers just last weekend.

But I will take the tips and information indicated and take another go at it.  It never hurts.

So later tonite I will post my before photos, and then hopefully I will be able to post my after photos on a Tammy day post.

Sunday – Meatloaf, peas, Noodles and Sauce.

Monday – 1/2 Lasagna (We never finish it all and the rest ends up in garbage, hopefully this works.

Tuesday – Shrove Tuesday.. Pancakes for EVERYONE.

Wednesday – KingFish Casserole – This stuff is so yummy, it is from the Company’s Coming Microwave Cookbook.

Thursday - Teriyaki Pork Stir-Fry Using a bottled sauce.

Friday – Leftovers or Perogies and Hotdogs (KD for the boys)

Saturday - Roast Chicken Dinner, Roast Potatoes and Carrots, Stuffing, Gravy.

I hope everyone has a great week!

This idea is being propogated and obtained from Menu Planning Monday (post to be edited to match to this weeks post).

Costochondritis or Tietze syndrome

Basically, it means I have some cartilidge in my chest that is inflamed and irritated, causing chest, neck and arm pain..   I have had episodes of this illness or condition since I was 10 years old, original diagnosis made by a doctor in Spruce Grove, and sadly I cannot remember his name..

It also means a long day without any fun for the family as I was at the hospital for 7 hours, then I needed to rest to alleviate the discomfort.

I did get my menu plan made up and a grocery list, so Stay Tuned for Tomorrows, Menu Plan Day!!

Tammy